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by Karen Stinson
I recently returned from Japan where my husband, Lee, and I spent a few weeks traveling around by foot, train, and automobile. We were fortunate to be hosted by our friends, Ellen and Tom, who have been living in Tokyo for some time. Over the course of our travels, our knowledgeable guides exposed us to places and experiences most foreign visitors miss. We stayed in traditional hotels, slept on mats, frequented public baths, and ate just about anything—as long as it wasn't still wiggling or deadly if prepared wrong!
Our trip came about at the last minute so we had little time to prepare ourselves to visit a country so vastly different from ours. The extent of my travel research was watching the film "Lost in Translation" the weekend before we departed. We did follow our friend's wise advice to only bring smaller suitcases that would fit overhead on the trains. We also brought one of our Wisepack backpack travel purses so we could constantly have two umbrellas, two water bottles and our passports with us. We were told cautionary tales about Americans who had been stopped on the street by officials and had left their passports in the hotel.
Sumiko's advice was valuable but there were so many more questions we should have asked. Within minutes of landing in Narita, just outside of Tokyo, our lessons began. Of the innumerable cultural differences that surprised us, here are four:
Surprise #1: Carry Lots of Cash
I usually carry a minimal amount of cash when traveling, opting instead to use my bank ATM card or credit cards as needed. But, I quickly learned that my ATM card didn't work at cash machines or banks in Japan, and that our credit cards were virtually worthless. What I learned is that Japan is a cash society and I'd better get used to carrying money around. When I expressed concern about doing so, I was told not to worry because there is little crime or theft. An example our acupuncturist gave us was, "If you forget your sweater on this bench, you can come back in a week, and it will still be here, neatly folded with your money in the pocket." She explained that the lack of crime is due to the high social and economic penalties for breaking the law and, even more devastating, the shame that committing a crime brings to the families of those who do so.
Surprise #2: Children Have More Independence
As we started roaming Tokyo and other parts of Japan, I noticed something we seldom experience in Minneapolis or any other major American city anymore. Everywhere we went, throughout the day into the evening hours, we met children of all sizes. They were dressed in their school uniforms, giggling and having fun, but here's the other unusual part: they were unaccompanied by adults. In low-crime Japan, it's safe for children to venture out alone.
Surprise #3: Older People are Revered and I'm One of Them
Equally surprising was the respect that the Japanese have for age, and it starts young. School children frequently approached us to practice their English and the first question out of their mouths was always, "How old are you?" When we answered, they repeated our ages and bowed deeply. While an age-related question up front like this in the United States might offend, this wasn't the case in Japan where there is a deep reverence for the wisdom and experience age brings. (Of course, the children's next questions ranged from "Do you know Brad Pitt?" to "Have you been to Disneyland?")
Surprise #4: They Get to the Right Place at the Right Time...and We Don't
Japanese people manage to be highly punctual, which both amazes and humbles me, given that getting anywhere in Japan is like going on a treasure hunt. Very few streets have names, and the buildings are numbered randomly and seemingly in no particular order. One day it took us two hours by car just to get out of Tokyo on our way to Mount Fuji and that was asking strangers for directions about ten times. Our rental car's on-board navigation system wasn't much help since the directions were spoken and written in Japanese, when street names were given at all. As Ellen remarked, "I have learned to give myself credit for the small achievements, like finding my way home again." Having said that, I cannot say enough positive things about their train system. It's clean, safe, punctual to the minute, and easy to figure out, even for the illiterate (which we were in Japan).
Overall, it was a trip of a lifetime. The people were overwhelmingly friendly and helpful, the scenery was breathtaking, and the food was delicious-even when we had no idea what we were eating.
Tom's Advice
Overall, our hosts, Tom and Ellen, underscored a key factor in successfully embracing any new culture: You get as much out of it as you put into it. They both take Japanese language lessons twice a week. In addition, Ellen has a Japanese culture coach who gives her invaluable insights and tips. We chuckled as she shared one important cultural lesson. One example was when her coach told her that the six packs of 'soda' she'd been buying and enjoying were actually laxatives.
Tom's advice, based on several overseas assignments, is to observe, listen, ask, learn, be respectful, and work at building relationships. He said, "I remind myself that I am a visitor here. I will never fully understand the Japanese culture and I have no right to judge it. The best I can do is to try and have fun and not take myself too seriously. In fact, some of my fondest memories are in the trying."
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